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crime scene (not for the weak!) (Free verse) by t_t_redhot A call comes in,
and I head out.
Another patient,
another death.
Abrasions, lacerations,
oh my god what happened here.
Blood is everywhere,
but I keep on looking.
In another room,
there is more for me too see.
Amputation and bowel evisceration,
can anyone be saved.
I move fast,
I hear a cry,
theres more,
but this one is alive.
Facial avulsion,
she is in pain.
We take her first,
she will be ok.
One to the er,
two in black bags.
All in a days work.
Up the ladder:
It's time you get here
Down the ladder:
Bilboards, and music, just shouldn't be mixed.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.3636365
Posted: October 28, 2002 7:20 PM PST; Last modified: October 30, 2002 8:42 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.181818 Overall Rank: 4798 Comments:
[8]
horus8 @ 24.126.113.154
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31-Oct-02/2:56 AM
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Reply
you kept my interest so...keep the eight. 8. do a series of these...they're damn good.8.l
This is how Holby City should be.
why put the 'not for the weak' disclaimer there if you are not going to fulfill it? there is nothing shocking here.
the reason it might not have shocked you is maybe you don't understand it. i know the words are hard to understand for some people. but thank you for reading it anyways.
in this poem, i see you, an EMT running around evaluating who lives and who is past hope. what did i not understand?
well, unless you are in the medical field you don't realize how bad it is to find something like that. haveing to chose who to save and who to leave. it is something you only think about if your not in the field, but it is something i do. so i can understand where you would not be shocked by it. thanks again.
so, why not try and convey some of that? why not DESCRIBE what you see, instead of just telling us about it? i'm not trying to be belligerent, but this is a good idea for a poem and it is disappointing that you have done nothing to develop it. just saying 'i do this, and i see shocking sights' means nothing, changes nothing, shares nothing. why bother?
well to tell you the truth this is only the first time i have ever written anything like this but after getting the comments i have gotten it will not be the last. this one is only the start. check out my new one i wrote last night. and tell me what you think. it is called head-on collision. i would really like to know what you think of that one cause i ain't sure about it.
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