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PHandAcid (Free verse) by New Life Drug
Well your grandmother got sick again -and you couldn't make it! Hey while you're telling me lies I'll tell you something -I don't appreciate them! Well your house is a castle but I don't fancy it -you're exaggerating! Hey go ahead and brag about life- mines a drag -feel free to take it! Croak and some friends have it all time is falling off white walls Still don't know why you missed acid information PH lessons by my father and our ears weren't concentrating Jamming blues to the songs with titles of your friend's names Too bad you weren't there, I hope I never see you -Maybe again Well I think my eyes bled when you showed up last night - it was way past later! Hey you have an excuse but you broke a guy's heart for that -ill drop you from an elevator! Well I'll look back as I walk away and glare with an evil stare -you deserve the pain! Hey try to call my name but I'm not coming back -I'm not that vain Die and some friends take it all life's too short to wait on walls Maybe again-goodbye! Or maybe so long

Down the ladder: Drinker's Haikus 2a and 2b

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.142857
Weighted score: 5.03842
Overall Rank: 7189
Posted: October 25, 2002 5:37 PM PDT; Last modified: October 25, 2002 5:37 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.117.82 | 26-Oct-02/8:16 AM | Reply
bravo, but can you play twister nude with an eloctronic waffle iron. 9. carry on. i enjoyed your word misplacement quite a bit and the title hook in also.
[n/a] New Life Drug @ 67.116.241.96 > horus8 | 28-Oct-02/7:03 PM | Reply
Yes I can. Can you cradle live flopping fish in the dark with a George Forman grill?
[6] [mojo] @ 195.92.168.176 | 29-Dec-02/3:39 AM | Reply
Second stanza struggled more than the first "later":"elevator", dodgy? Sounds more like a song lyric? Suggest a bit of pruning/tightening. .6.
[n/a] New Life Drug @ 64.175.38.129 > [mojo] | 29-Dec-02/7:40 PM | Reply
dodgy? It could look that way. My friend said she was coming "later" and I was angry..what better way to say it than "drop you from an elevator" a term my friends and I use now..inside joke that happened at a hotel. As for the song lyrics thing, yah it pretty much was created like a song and was supposed to be so the misplaced words and "dodginess" appear in a more poetic form.
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