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1 of 2,543 things she does that starts fires in your grassland heart. (Free verse) by mogwai You wake up next to her and you wonder how the world ever got this far.
She turns to you and ungums her lips before asking "What was I wearing
last night?"
This isn't what you expected her to say but that's exactly why you're
there.
You go through her wardrobe from the night before.
She nods and smiles at each correct item.
Your remember everything except for the colour of her socks.
So you take a punt on this and say "White?"
She nods and smiles.
Then you say "Why did you ask me that?"
She says, "I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention."
Up the ladder:
Friends
Down the ladder:
Gaze
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.230769
Posted: May 19, 2002 7:13 AM PDT; Last modified: May 19, 2002 7:13 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.8997645 Overall Rank: 1462 Comments:
[8]
AmericanWigeon @ 24.189.127.227
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7-Jul-02/11:54 AM
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Reply
Very sweet. And a cute title to boot!
significantly amusing, but it looks like prose to me.
I really don't draw a line, as long as it's 'poetic', then it's poetry to me. Poetry isn't about technique and rules, it's about finding the beauty in the details. Poetry should be about giving, and there's nothing giving about indecipherable mazes of self indulgent diary entries with meaning that does not extend beyond the ego of the creator. Which is what most so called 'poetry' adds up to. If more people thought about giving something in their poetry to the reader, then poetry wouldn't have such a bad reputation.
The title is the best thing about the poem, but there is no connection to the image of grasslands in the poem itself.
It is a great suggestive title and maybe it would be nice to see it taken up in the poem itself, but I still like the scene that's presented here.
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