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falling (Free verse) by Aggreddion days seem brighter
sleep seems deeper
sights seems sharper
heart beats deeper
-falling
Up the ladder:
When The Iron Curtain Came Down
Down the ladder:
A Story Book Tale
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: October 19, 2002 6:25 PM PDT; Last modified: October 19, 2002 6:25 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.7310586 Overall Rank: 11828 Comments:
[6]
Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200
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27-Nov-02/5:47 AM
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Reply
Is this a positive or negative progression? Are these good things, bad things, or a bittersweet mixture of the two?
i don't think you need 'falling' twice, but i like it at the end. maybe a different title? also, maybe something other than 'deeper' twice? or make it a third, so the repetition is intentional? nice. spare. effective. have a 7 for starters.
there is no bottom at the top.??
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