DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

casting couch

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Oct 2002 · Edited 19 Oct 2002 · 6 comments

Worn torn skirt with a trying smile she looks so out of place. an actress with a permanent thorn she keeps to remind her of her place. slouching on the couch in a stranger's house forced conversations and cocaine conclusions I have no delutions no more she says. soar from the binge she cry's and cringes face to face with her tears face to face with her years. breaks all the mirrors she loves her bad luck she's never surprised she knows that she's stuck. prod and brand a one night stand like the back of my hand I know your plan. I play the role of a defeated soul and watch your confidence take control. ego with a smile, the tragedy of faith, the opposite of grace the attention misplaced. I have no delusions repeat and remember I'm never surprised I never surrender.

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mean 4.75 weighted 4.97 rank 8374 views 165 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

6 comments

[5] Tintagiles 17-Oct-02/8:52 PM Reply

This truly sounds as if you wrote a rhyming affair and then stuck it in a mass of enjambments so that either we wouldn't notice or if we did we'd think it was modern genius. Are you sure it wouldn't work better in the original line breaking?

[n/a] darby pyn › Tintagiles 17-Oct-02/9:16 PM Reply

it anoys so many people the way I write. either rhyme or
dont. but this one in paticular is a punk song played
very fast. so I don't catch these rule of writing
imperfections at conception.
sorry. I do appreciate your comments.

[7] <~> 18-Oct-02/7:05 AM Reply

i like all the images and the way you address the situation. but if it's a fast punk song, giving it a hammering meter. then it would strike down opposition.

[n/a] darby pyn › <~> 18-Oct-02/12:34 PM Reply

it's more in the lines of the finality of the poem/song
is such a defeat. you want her to wake up. it's about
denial and accepting it. if somone hates the conclusion
of the song so much they say I will never be that person
then the ends justify the means.

[n/a] cobalt › darby pyn 18-Oct-02/12:35 PM Reply

they could love it and say 'i'll never be her' as well

[n/a] darby pyn › cobalt 18-Oct-02/2:54 PM Reply

I hope so. shit I spelled couch wrong.oops