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Just Being Me (Free verse) by jsab78
You see these eyes and compare to my name, Anglo-Saxon is not my style, I feel a different kind of pain, Not a minority or a slave of racial wars, Darkend scarred skin from chemical burns and broken hearts, I am "olive" and yellow to some, Classified as asian and accepted by none, Stereotypes and categories don't apply, You perception of my looks are what you think is mine, I am NOT, Not yours, not any, No culture classification, I was not created by your one and only nation, I am worldly, No claims to a land and never belonging, I like it like that, I prefer to relate to all those under velour skies and clouds drifting toward the sun, Stop placing me in a class because in this world we are one, Slanty eyes and olive skin, red streaks in my hair from my irish granmother, Small chest from gentics of the orient, hula hips and features from my own mother, Did you call me what? Sorry, I am another, Racist comments won't work on me, This is one world... let us be one... I'm just being me

Up the ladder: Hate Me
Down the ladder: Dying for a Dowry

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.2
Overall Rank: 4547
Posted: October 5, 2002 2:03 PM PDT; Last modified: October 5, 2002 2:03 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 13-Oct-02/2:11 PM | Reply
Oh, how interesting! A tedious, pointless exposition on how RACISM=WRONG. Well fuck me! You're really shaking the foundations of modern civilisation!! 90% of the people who read this thought RACISM=RIGHT, but luckily you've managed to change their minds with your excellent structure, exciting use of dramatic description, brave use of rhyme, interesting choices of spelling/grammar/punctuation, and WOW ZANY INCREDIBLE FUCKING ORIGINALITY OF SUBJECT MATTER! 10!!! Keep up the good work!!
[n/a] jsab78 @ 205.188.208.42 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 13-Oct-02/2:42 PM | Reply
If ignorance is bliss, you must be in heaven. Instead of looking at other people's work and being crude and judgemental, you should think about your own language. You prefer to use "big words" to make your work more appealing. I don't. I get to the point. I do it sweet and simple for a more simplistic target audience. We don't live in a world of genius' which is obvious from reading your posts. Poem ranker is not a place for you to vent your anger towards other people. If you would like to send constructive criticism, consider what you're reading. Think about who these works are geared towards and that not everyone is like you. You probably do approve of racism. You obviously aren't intelligent enough to put actual corrections or suggestions with regard to any of my work so you babble about subject matter that isn't original. Like being dark and deep is so original. I apologize, I'm only human. I can never be the next Marilyn Manson fan who sits behind my computer wearing black lipstick and writing pointless commentaries on the internet. By the way, "f** me!" I think you should go f** yourself or get a book on modern English compositions. Then let me know what you think. While you're at it, read up on marketing.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > jsab78 | 14-Oct-02/2:33 AM | Reply
I use "big words", whatever they might be, because they're the first ones that occur to me. If you like, I'll make sure to replace all words with more than 2 syllables with ones with 2 or fewer syllables when I comment on your poemes! With that in mind, though, could you not use the words "ignorance", "judgemental", "appealing", "simplistic", "audience", "obvious", "constructive", "criticism", "consider", "everyone", "obviously", "intelligent", "corrections", "suggestions", "original", "apologize", "computer", "commentaries", "internet", "compositions" and "marketing"? They hurt my ignintness.

Also, I'd be interested to know where you're getting all this "prefer to use big words to make your work more appealing", "dark and deep", "Marilyn Manson", "black lipstick" stuff from. As far as I can tell you've just invented it on the spot, but if it helps you cope, by all means carry on.
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