poemranker ::New Hope by brazen

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Free verse № 18766

New Hope

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Oct 2002 · Edited 4 Oct 2002 · 3 comments

Watery breeze brings on new life, To swollen lungs of disdain, Earth forsaken it's tallest tree, Rooted only in vain, It's life is already lost, Washed away with disapproving glares, The seed once stary eyed, Now covered in cloudy pairs, Welcome to misery my son, Welcome in the shame, Disheartened and forgotten, Forgot how to play Her game. Out on its own, Proving Earth wrong, Hasn't given to rotting away, Lost its bark to decay, It's grown by spreading weak limbs, Grabbing onto to another sapling, They grew strong together, Mightier then an oak, Autumn became their leaves, Living on without Mother Earth, Her son grew tall today.

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.13 rank 5548 views 166 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[4] Bachus 26-Oct-02/10:02 AM Reply
what is this arbor day? THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! there's your title, and or statement? what the fuck is this tree hugging shit? some sort of metaphorical coming of age poem to the family and nature...well you lost me in the first stanza..and i'm not coming out for anything less than a handfull of pistaccios. capeesh. bastard. fuck! you've gone a tangled my noodle. bastard.
[n/a] brazen › Bachus 26-Oct-02/10:19 AM Reply
i suppose that my bark is worse then my write...ouch, i'm corny when i don't sleep. i wrote in new hope, pa., so there's your title...nothing more. i can't promise you any pictachios, but i do have cashews...come on squirrelly, i want bite.
[7] -=SeTTle=- 27-Oct-02/6:42 PM Reply
The phrase "strong as an oak" is a really annoying cliche. Try "permanent as a conifer" or something.