| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
#17 (Haiku) by mikejedw Gentle autumn sun
detracts from the horizon's
flickering cloud bank.
Up the ladder:
The Son Of
Down the ladder:
Tuesday, again and again and...
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6153846
Posted: October 3, 2002 9:31 PM PDT; Last modified: October 3, 2002 9:31 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.449882 Overall Rank: 2920 Comments:
[6]
Service @ 211.28.96.5
|
3-Oct-02/9:42 PM
|
Reply
Calming, nice.
A great start but it seems like there should be more. I like it.
I can see a flickering cloud bank out of my window, also in autumn sunshine. This poem speaks to me. Normally, I don't like the haiku form, but this is very visual and evocative.
Very descriptive. It reminds me why I love Autumn.
"detracts" seems awkward. perhaps something more sinister?
141 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
