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At The Sloane Slattery on Saturday (Free verse) by Limness Antique tools and ancient engines
Harleys lined up next to Indians
Driven there, and carted in
Used and loved, for sale again.
Vendors selling well-worn parts
Steam machines with iron hearts
Long, loose belts and heavy wheels:
Popping, firing, belching, steel
Turn and grind and dig and plow
As they have for centuries now.
And to eat, there's steam-cooked soup
Corn-on-the-cob, and burgers too.
The city folk laughed, manning the booth,
At me for wanting my ear uncooked
But I smiled and paid the man
Went around back, shucked it and
Ate it raw, silk and all.
The air is cool, the sun is hot,
In between seasons, and time's forgot
The span between back then and now
With a crowd just milling around
Gawking at the boothed displays:
New England on a Saturday
Up the ladder:
Would I?
Down the ladder:
Faith...
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.875
Posted: September 29, 2002 12:59 PM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2002 2:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.235324 Overall Rank: 4188 Comments:
[8]
knickytoy @ 24.45.19.89
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30-Sep-02/9:19 AM
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Reply
Sounds fun to me! Especially the belching!
[n/a]
Limness @ 167.206.181.179
> knickytoy
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30-Sep-02/9:27 AM
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Reply
okay Toby, i changed the ending.
[8]
knickytoy @ 24.45.19.89
> Limness
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30-Sep-02/10:09 AM
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Reply
I like that better. And I love booth-ed. What part of grammar is that?
[n/a]
Limness @ 167.206.181.179
> knickytoy
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30-Sep-02/11:50 AM
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Reply
adj, madge
[8]
knickytoy @ 24.45.19.89
> Limness
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30-Sep-02/1:08 PM
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Reply
I know it's an adj! But isn't there a specific name for a verb turned adj? As in "That fucking asshole".
"The air is cool, the sun is hot,
In between seasons, and time's forgot" I do not like this, no I do not, I do not like this I think it flops. I guess I want more from the ending. If it was as good as the first stanza, you would have it. I am not going to vote until you quit stopping off at the bar before coming home.
who said anything about stopping off? the cooler's in the trunk, babycakes.
the sun is very hot, after all. and yes, it does suck. but at least it's there to be ridiculed until i can finish it right proper. when it is iced, i shall alert the media.
I never said it sucked, I said it flops. And you better not be drinking and driving. It is against the law.
but, to me, it sucks. i will fix it, if i ever recover from that nasty muse bite i got last night. (it is not up to my standards.)
Belching is mis-spelled.
thank you. i fixed it.
I like this poem, Lmns, good luck with tightening it up. I saw the new Harley V Rod up close, yesterday. That's a hot looking motorbike; but, I'd swap out the solid alum. wheels for spokes.
What, you use a motor to get up them there humps in Virginia. And here I thought you were the spawn of John Tomac. Geez. What is the use of CPR.
Nice rythmn, and images. S3 is very endearing. What's a Slattery?
Slaone and Slattery were people. It's a museum/homestead in Kent, CT. and this weekend was the harvest festival/antique tool and machinery show. I bought a double-ended crescent wrench witha fancy square-cut center, some raw amber to make jewelry with, and a better sey of needle files. and 2 ears of raw corn, despite being called crazy at high volume several times (in a very good-spirited way, of course).
Sitting at DIA with a flight delay and now I am totally turned on. I bet you could kick my ass.
and i bet you'd want more when she was done.
WOO HOO!!! Another motorhead! I prefer mine with four wheels but since I've moved from the Mile High to WI, I can really dig that cool Harley vibe. Ride on!!!!
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