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the place (Free verse) by ThreeFourSix
They say there was a place, A time when the Gods were young, Where you and me could run and chase, And try, oh try, to live as one. This place they say was one of love, Where flowers bloomed and poets dreamed, A magic glade, a magic dove, The sunshine shined and moonbeams beamed. Take me there? Thats what you say? Its gone my love, the memories fade, But I have a secret, Ill show you the way, Creations of love and how they were made. A whisper of truth that was once strong, Ages past in this special place, But now its just simply been too long, Since Gods and Goddess' looked upon your face. See you are the secret, youll find the way, The choices are hard, the paths unknown, The decision is yours, to make one day, Your love will soar, you wont be alone.

Up the ladder: Satisfaction
Down the ladder: Different Keys

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.3333333
Weighted score: 4.5517645
Overall Rank: 12682
Posted: September 21, 2002 7:03 PM PDT; Last modified: September 21, 2002 7:03 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 22-Sep-02/10:29 AM | Reply
if you are a guru..i am the shit leak streaming over my flexing calf muscle currently..this suffers from elitism and bad images with no concrete foundation...name a god name a place..name a flower...never be vague...because say you say lilac or asgard or pluto...theseus.. all of a sudden you allow people to have much much more in common with the piece, because their favorite flower is lilac their favorite god is hades and so on...good luck here at poemranker...toooddless.
[n/a] ThreeFourSix @ 203.166.96.234 > horus8 | 27-Oct-02/3:23 PM | Reply
negative feedback is great. especially to someone like me who has never written poetry before. i thank you. i will heed your advise in future poems i write. now, just some advise for you. by all means as i said give negative feedback on someones work, if they are half as mature as they should be they know not to take any advise personally. however when people give offensive and negative PERSONAL feedback to someone, it can be quite damaging. your opening sentence in your reply does just that. fortunately, i recognised your criticism as an attempted constructiveness. try to be more careful because you may just offend someone more fragile than me. thanks again for your input.
[n/a] cobalt @ 67.84.171.238 | 1-Jan-03/10:49 PM | Reply
she msut be sweet.
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