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Member since 2002 · Posted 20 Sep 2002 · 1 comment

Another Oldie Not full Like an empty bird cage Just being, only being, no meaning. Mouse trapped in a maze An enigma blinding reason. Hollow this time of satirety Being in a place of silence Hopeless it is entirely Cobwebs cocooning all eternity Colourless rain falls to form a puddle In it an image, bent and muddled. Saddened jaded porcelain Merely fragments with stone, I resistantly entwined Stark, Motionless, Alone.

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[4] pomoxo 19-Jan-03/12:07 AM Reply

hmm first stanza is full of kinda cliched imagery/ideas and i'm all for the invention of words in poetry but 'satirety' is completely unneccesary (dont worry the world wont end if youre not rhyming). its 'satire'. thats the noun form. think it gets better as it goes...the last stanza has some redeemable imagery....i like colorless rain but 'i resistantly entwined' feels a little muddled and such phrases as 'saddened jaded' and 'stark, motionless, alone,' they all invoke this very worn out and unoriginal feeling of regurgitated despair