pomoxo19 Jan 2003

hmm first stanza is full of kinda cliched imagery/ideas and i'm all for the invention of words in poetry but 'satirety' is completely unneccesary (dont worry the world wont end if youre not rhyming). its 'satire'. thats the noun form. think it gets better as it goes...the last stanza has some redeemable imagery....i like colorless rain but 'i resistantly entwined' feels a little muddled and such phrases as 'saddened jaded' and 'stark, motionless, alone,' they all invoke this very worn out and unoriginal feeling of regurgitated despair