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David & Derrick (Free verse) by TheModestKing
I know I vomit when you speak, But scout’s honour this time, I won’t make a squeak, I’ve been observing your behaviour, And as a caring neighbour, I thought you should know: you’re weak. Leeches squeeze less out of life than you, At least they have purpose, They don’t kill for surplus, They kill to survive, You kill for the thrill, And you drink for the thrill, But when you think: nothing, still You’re turn...

Down the ladder: this dude is the best

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.9403987
Overall Rank: 9068
Posted: May 12, 2011 8:55 PM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2011 8:55 PM PDT
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Comments:
[1] nentwined @ 173.13.142.254 | 6-Jun-11/6:52 PM | Reply
sad
[n/a] TheModestKing @ 77.107.153.187 > nentwined | 26-Jun-11/6:56 PM | Reply
great constructive criticism!! Care to elaborate?
[3] Y2kSlamPoet @ 67.188.94.175 | 5-Jul-11/1:51 PM | Reply
This poem is weak.
[6] nypoet22 @ 75.74.75.115 | 12-Aug-11/8:32 AM | Reply
the first line is great, but the rest lacks specifics. what behavior? kill what? drink what?
[8] wDaphnew @ 85.210.7.225 | 25-Sep-11/11:50 AM | Reply
This was quite good but something has gone wrong with the apostrophes - they come out as an a with a circumflex on top!

No such typo problems at MY website, so accept my invitation to join:
http://newpoetryshared.proboards.com
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