|
|
I Think Of (Free verse) by forsaken
I think of the day you'll be back in my arms
Keeping you safe from the world's harm
Can't wait to feel the warmth of you on my skin
Like a thousand suns burning within
I think of the sparkle that I'll see in your eye
The thought of how long it's been has me wanting to cry
God only knows how much I've done that already
My heart became a mess without you please make it steady
I think of how my hand has been empty without yours
Yours is the only one that can turn open my door
The one closing my heart to the rest of the world
Babe just come take mine and be my girl
I think of how it's been without you in my life
It's been so lonely thought I'd never call someone my wife
There was alot of cold nights without a star in the sky
Where I'd spend them alone staring up asking why
I think of How now my future will be
Nothing could possibly make me happier then you with me
So we can have a life spent holding eachother
Simply lost in your eyes never noticing another
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
| Graph | Votes |
10 |
|
0 | 9 |
9 |
|
0 | 0 |
8 |
|
0 | 0 |
7 |
|
0 | 0 |
6 |
|
0 | 0 |
5 |
|
0 | 0 |
4 |
|
1 | 0 |
3 |
|
0 | 0 |
2 |
|
0 | 0 |
1 |
|
0 | 0 |
0 |
|
1 | 0 |
|
Arithmetic Mean: 8.545455
Weighted score: 6.7727275
Overall Rank: 438
Posted: October 21, 2007 12:24 PM PDT; Last modified: October 21, 2007 12:24 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
230 view(s)
|
"I think of the day you'll be back in my arms
Keeping you safe from the world's harm"
Just a suggestion here:
Awaiting the day
back in my arms
keeping safe
my love from world's harm"
although I think that needs some work in itself :).
Anyway, use that pain you are obviously feeling, but try to write this again with half as many words and you may be surprised what you find!