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guilt (Free verse) by eunique
a beautiful song that faded
though i really wanted
to familiarize myself with
melody repeating over and over
bridge to chorus
yet never complete
snapped my fingers trying to recall
it is a shame
i really would have searched
under the covers, on top of shelves
in every page of every book
maybe i tucked you in there
i never did look
i substituted you for other songs
that were more accessible
though the phone is beside me
and the bus ride is actually short
it must be quite an experience
to know you more
to decipher you
how you waited for me to find you
how you were composed for me
how you keep knocking at my door
throwing stones at my window
or could that be guilt
but i never listened
as if wanting you to do fade
maybe without "as if"
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8581
Posted: July 26, 2007 6:25 AM PDT; Last modified: July 26, 2007 6:25 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
114 view(s)
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i never did look
i substituted you for other songs
--I think you should cut out the 'I's-:
might have tucked you in there..
never did look, substituted you
for other songs
---
Just a suggestion. I'm just biased against the word I.. that and when it's used repeditivly it rings of anathema going super nova in my rectum.
Blessed with an eight.
but i figure they were rather minimised at this point? plus it makes it more personal.
nevertheless, my utmost gratitude for your comment.