DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 152

The Pain

by silver

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 7 comments

The pain threatens to envelop me And drag me down in its seething mass The chaos swirls around me Where physical meets mental And my soul is torn asunder By the emptiness that is left behind The pain caused by the void Left in my heart The pain caused by my existance The pain that threatens to envelop me And drag me down in its seething mass Without you.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.90 weighted 4.90 rank 9885 views 147 View voting details →

58 votes so far. Yours would make 59.58 votes so far

7 comments

[1] anonymous 9-Jun-01/12:40 AM Reply
nice imagery. it's overall too simplistic for my tastes but could make a decent song. :)
[1] anonymous 21-Jun-01/6:07 PM Reply
Nice use of metaphor. By the way 'existence' is spelled with an 'e'.
[1] anonymous 22-Jun-01/3:27 PM Reply
To overt -- lacks subtelty. This sort of "Pain" has been overused.
[1] anonymous 2-Jul-01/1:18 PM Reply
ouch
[n/a] ifni 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply
I've said it before.... more!
[7] forestchild7 9-Jul-02/3:22 PM Reply
hmmm... intriguing... hope you make it...
[4] -=SeTTle=- 28-Jul-02/6:21 PM Reply
Me?