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The Pain (Free verse) by silver
The pain threatens to envelop me And drag me down in its seething mass The chaos swirls around me Where physical meets mental And my soul is torn asunder By the emptiness that is left behind The pain caused by the void Left in my heart The pain caused by my existance The pain that threatens to envelop me And drag me down in its seething mass Without you.

Up the ladder: Fraser's Wedding
Down the ladder: Untitled

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.8965516
Weighted score: 4.8965516
Overall Rank: 9899
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST
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Comments:
[1]... anonymous @ | 9-Jun-01/12:40 AM | Reply
nice imagery. it's overall too simplistic for my tastes but could make a decent song. :)
[1]... anonymous @ | 21-Jun-01/6:07 PM | Reply
Nice use of metaphor. By the way 'existence' is spelled with an 'e'.
[1]... anonymous @ | 22-Jun-01/3:27 PM | Reply
To overt -- lacks subtelty. This sort of "Pain" has been overused.
[1]... anonymous @ | 2-Jul-01/1:18 PM | Reply
ouch
[n/a] ifni @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
I've said it before.... more!
[7] forestchild7 @ 216.77.209.45 | 9-Jul-02/3:22 PM | Reply
hmmm... intriguing... hope you make it...
[4] -=SeTTle=- @ 63.214.68.113 | 28-Jul-02/6:21 PM | Reply
Me?
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