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Raining in Dream (Free verse) by memorybabe
It's raining in dream again The orphans are drinking pianos While the cranberries are burning Their lives are the law and the Third wheel is turning and The Bridge may be broken It's Oompa Loompa Tuesday And the brown shares are making way For aimee's girls to make a play And the rolling sky brings all to eye As The morning dreams awaken And if I were a sailor then I'd move the wind from ship to shore And if the balls were born in me Were the wheels to bring me on I'd roll again And moan again It's raining in dream again And this letter weighs it's weary eyes down And the fallen leaves of autumn move the journey to the heart and tongues will blister and fall in thought and that's when I'll go home And if I were a poet then I could write a thousand minds to eye As the letter rains it's tears on you door I will ask for nothing more And walk the way I have for so long On windy nights like this, home.

Up the ladder: Kernel of truth

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4545455
Weighted score: 5.2272725
Overall Rank: 4247
Posted: September 13, 2002 10:00 PM PDT; Last modified: September 14, 2002 10:58 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] pete @ 194.222.69.43 | 14-Sep-02/12:18 AM | Reply
sounds like its chock-full of meaning ..... couple of typos ( ? ) stop me searching for it ..... 4
[n/a] memorybabe @ 68.63.132.186 > pete | 14-Sep-02/10:57 AM | Reply
Yeah I had some strange issues putting it up last night... I must have missed a couple of apostrophe's
[6] ifni @ 64.129.213.218 | 17-Sep-02/8:46 AM | Reply
There's a lot of detrius in the beginning of this; meaningless phrases. Perhaps your intended effect; but it shrouds the meaning you're heading for in the second half.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 25-Dec-02/10:00 PM | Reply
well since i'm down with that italian bink, i'll be moving on...to better things and this was nice.
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