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My Pet Gerbil (Free verse) by Engelbert Humpalot
Father forgive me for my sins. I have sinned in thought word and deed With knobs on. The pain, the pain, how I vomit with the pain. Oh Jesus Christ, it's unbearable. I have ripped a lump out of my prepuce As a result of trying to make my pet gerbil Algonquin Give me a blowjob - normally he's a very obliging rodent And doesn't object to my sodomizing him, Especially when I wrap him in duct tape so he doesn't burst. I was forced to kick him in the mouth to free my dong. RIP Algonquin. Two hail maries only? Christ that was good value.

Up the ladder: On The Gay Beach
Down the ladder: Grafton Street Late Joys

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.428571
Weighted score: 7.427757
Overall Rank: 3
Posted: August 17, 2006 9:27 AM PDT; Last modified: August 17, 2006 9:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.241.139 | 20-Aug-06/5:14 AM | Reply
I have always found a large plastic bag is sufficient to keep small rodents still during sodomy. Lovely poem, keep 'em rolling. Let's roll, in fact.
[10] Sing4Jesus! @ 85.210.192.216 | 3-Sep-06/5:15 PM | Reply
God may forgive you for this. As far as I am concerned you can fuck off.
[10] mr cunt @ 85.210.204.236 | 2-Mar-07/5:57 PM | Reply
Fabulous. I turded with excitement.
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