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My Pet Gerbil (Free verse) by Engelbert Humpalot
Father forgive me for my sins. I have sinned in thought word and deed With knobs on. The pain, the pain, how I vomit with the pain. Oh Jesus Christ, it's unbearable. I have ripped a lump out of my prepuce As a result of trying to make my pet gerbil Algonquin Give me a blowjob - normally he's a very obliging rodent And doesn't object to my sodomizing him, Especially when I wrap him in duct tape so he doesn't burst. I was forced to kick him in the mouth to free my dong. RIP Algonquin. Two hail maries only? Christ that was good value.

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