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My Pet Gerbil (Free verse) by Engelbert Humpalot
Father forgive me for my sins.
I have sinned in thought word and deed
With knobs on.
The pain, the pain, how I vomit with the pain.
Oh Jesus Christ, it's unbearable.
I have ripped a lump out of my prepuce
As a result of trying to make my pet gerbil Algonquin
Give me a blowjob - normally he's a very obliging rodent
And doesn't object to my sodomizing him,
Especially when I wrap him in duct tape so he doesn't burst.
I was forced to kick him in the mouth to free my dong.
RIP Algonquin.
Two hail maries only? Christ that was good value.
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