This has some really cool imagery and language. First line--"sky" should take singular verb "casts," not "cast." Might want to drop the articles ("the") in the second line. "Wearisome, I vent . . . " something's off here. (For one thing, you're basically calling yourself tiresome. Do you mean "weary"?) Second stanza--some cool imagery. I like "I want white linen (maybe make it singular?) line, but sugg. dropping "up"--white linen to cocoon me.

"With morning comes a . . . turning of light"--nice. Think it'd stand alone, stronger, without "shine." The spiralling child seems disconnected right now. Maybe, also, just "smog" without "the sky's" (where else would smog be?) S/b "last night's" (apos.). I almost think the ending would be stronger without the last line.

Really like this, overall.

Great stuff, but I'd prefer this in more complete phrases - i.e. without the breaking up of sentences.
'The great light bandit' is a super line.

Some great phrases and vivid images. But I'd rather see it tied together with transition and clearer flow of the story. It's not a story, but you show sequence, loosely connected.