Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Prayer Vendor (Free verse) by Enkidu
The corners hide him, standing there in absolution. He greets you with sincerity, and deil's smiles become his martyrs. There are craven deprecations from the callers, and daring, fellow-feeling prayers to ponder on, unresolved. Now, the mortal angels rend the sky to find him sitting on heavy weather; the vitiating veil. They curtail their graces. And the Vendor whiles away his wares to poorer folk who stand in queue: the drudge and the march, with little miracles to desire.

Up the ladder: My Heart
Down the ladder: Silver Lining

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Weighted score: 4.928861
Overall Rank: 9294
Posted: January 11, 2006 10:08 PM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2006 1:00 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 12-Jan-06/6:01 PM | Reply
How does a smile become a martyr?
"craven deprications" Did you use a thesaurus for "cowardly blames"? Not that it matters, but simpler language goes down easier. Still, I like this.
[n/a] zodiac @ 209.193.9.107 > Dovina | 12-Jan-06/6:20 PM | Reply
I think he means like, "That dress becomes you."
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > zodiac | 12-Jan-06/6:31 PM | Reply
Could be, but martyrs don't usually have mischevious (deil's) smiles.
[n/a] zodiac @ 209.193.9.107 > Dovina | 12-Jan-06/6:22 PM | Reply
That or because he's offering them up for sacrifices, for persecution.
[n/a] Enkidu @ 172.192.144.154 | 12-Jan-06/10:31 PM | Reply
I despise using dictionaries and thesauri unless I'm looking up the spelling of a word. By the way, a deprecation is a sort of prayer. Also, I used deil's (the devil's) smiles as a metaphor for the people who the Vendor makes suffer.
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > Enkidu | 13-Jan-06/11:49 AM | Reply
I see how that can be, but how many readers will even get through the unusual words in your large vocabulary to start thinking about an obsucre metaphor like that.
155 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001