Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

forever mourning (Lyric) by outofdarkness138
where did you go... where can you be... why did you leave me here alone promised to live with you through this life now you leave... that ain't right chorus: the harshest pain.. is the one that snuffs out life with no warning all the pain... blasts you like a bomb cry inside forever mourning the road i now travel on all alone, i see no end tattered in pain and rebellion whe did they take you leave us alone have to fight to get through all this pain- forever mourning chorus i struggle on... chorus

Up the ladder: Sisyphus' wife

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 11
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.0476813
Overall Rank: 6867
Posted: December 2, 2005 8:43 PM PST; Last modified: December 2, 2005 8:43 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[7] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 3-Dec-05/6:30 AM | Reply
With a thumping beat I can see it working. But the vocals would have to be almost inaudible.
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 3-Dec-05/9:09 AM | Reply
First two verses are weak. Does this ring a bell?

"Where, oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love.
You met another and Phht! you were gone."

The rest of it seems to work ok.
[6] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 3-Dec-05/1:16 PM | Reply
I'll be the first to admit that lyrics can be decieving because they may sound great with music. This just doesn't work too well on the page, though.
157 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001