Replying to a comment on:

forever mourning (Lyric) by outofdarkness138

where did you go... where can you be... why did you leave me here alone promised to live with you through this life now you leave... that ain't right chorus: the harshest pain.. is the one that snuffs out life with no warning all the pain... blasts you like a bomb cry inside forever mourning the road i now travel on all alone, i see no end tattered in pain and rebellion whe did they take you leave us alone have to fight to get through all this pain- forever mourning chorus i struggle on... chorus

ALChemy 3-Dec-05/9:09 AM
First two verses are weak. Does this ring a bell?

"Where, oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love.
You met another and Phht! you were gone."

The rest of it seems to work ok.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001