Poemranker [Poem: Another Chapter] [by TLRufener] Wed May 01 15:05:47 PDT 2024

[8] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 3-Dec-05/6:44 AM | Reply

Writing poems like this is sloppy work.
You just make one-line sentences like a jerk.
They don't even have to be related.
Rick Flair's daughter is someone I've dated.
Why not try running a thought through a line end?
Because that would require you to have a thought.

[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 4-Dec-05/6:28 AM | Reply

You dated Rick Flair's daughter?
Have you seen Hulk Hogan's daughter? 2 more years and counting.

[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > ALChemy | 5-Dec-05/3:42 AM | Reply

Yes. Once. They were (and I think still are) living in Charlotte, NC. Try as I may, I couldn't get Rick to do that distinctive hooting thing he does.

[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > zodiac | 5-Dec-05/3:42 AM | Reply

Or bleed from his forehead for almost no reason.

[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 3-Dec-05/7:54 AM | Reply

"No more, love more hand to hold"?

Check this out:

An empty page but to afraid to look
Wanting to see an unfinished book
Unwritten words between you and me
Undone deeds scared to be seen
Another chapter, more hand to hold
No more, love forever untold
Secrets unspoken to fill up my head
One more thought when they need to be said
Another chapter to keep on the light
No more reasons, I will never write
With one last chance for us to try
You turn from me and say goodbye.

Like refrigerator poem magnets.

Think of things about you and your lover that are unique. Like "No more Vodka semen shots."

[8] zodiac @ 81.10.123.209 > ALChemy | 4-Dec-05/2:31 AM | Reply

Like

An empty page but afraid to look
because I might see that time we did nook-
ie in the Walmart bathroom and I got VD
from an extremely unsanitary urinal cake.

[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 4-Dec-05/6:26 AM | Reply

Ace.

[5] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 4-Dec-05/1:23 PM | Reply

Alright, lookit...you've got to get it out of your head that you have to rhyme to make a poem work. You're putting stuff in here just to make it rhyme. You could say this exact same thing with three lines and it would sound more poetic.

It's not just horrible bad, but it's just not good either. It doesn't hold my attention, it doesn't make me think, and it doesn't make me think "yeah..I know what she's feeling...I've felt that way".