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The Mask (Free verse) by TLRufener
You looked in the mirror and did not like what you saw In a fit of rage you tore the mirror from the wall In a desperate attempt to hide your horrid face You fashioned an all-purpose mask to cancel your disgrace You ran from the truth thinking no one would see In all truth you are still the same person to me I saw the face that you wanted to hide I know the true person you are inside No matter what you look like or what you do There will never be a change in how I treat you With all of you effort to change what they see Who you are inside is all that ever means anything to me

Up the ladder: Freedom

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8669
Posted: November 26, 2005 9:21 AM PST; Last modified: November 26, 2005 9:21 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 26-Nov-05/11:12 AM | Reply
Did you notice every line in your poem is written as a seperate sentence. Caps at the beginning. MS Word?

You need to get personal. Say things that are unique to your situation or perspective. We have no idea who the hell you're talking to. A lover? A friend? A man? A woman? Michael Jackson? Who?
Don't try to write a poem for everyone. If you do it will always turn out the same way. Hokey.
[6] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 > ALChemy | 26-Nov-05/8:32 PM | Reply
yep
[8] zodiac @ 212.118.19.241 | 27-Nov-05/6:06 AM | Reply
Yeah, you have to wonder if you're really going to be able to convey your feelings and experiences and make an accurate account of your life and times if you can only write 13-syllable sentences...
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