poemranker ::i remembered by skaskowski

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Free verse № 133735

i remembered

by skaskowski

Member since 2001 · Posted 18 Nov 2005 · 1 comment

gasp with greed, your flail, alike. a grasp of reeds, a subtle plight. banked on rubbly slipping sides, you raspy voiced, your cry, aside. your clenching fist, a muddled try. tanked, but flanked by harsh replies.

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mean 4.50 weighted 4.98 rank 8202 views 223 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

1 comment

[9] zodiac 18-Nov-05/10:32 PM Reply
No comma after "greed"; no period after "plight"; no comma after "cry"; comma rather than period after "try".

Oddly good.