poemranker ::Do Swans Get Jealous? (#2) by Christof

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Free verse № 12923

Do Swans Get Jealous? (#2)

Member since 2002 · Posted 3 Sep 2002 · 15 comments

As I sit eating my bagel by the tourists in the park A sunning swan slips past all arch From neck to breast to wing to tail Pert in her bodice of sleek and white. The hot eyes follow Till a rubbish-truck arrives When a boy, not seven, in a shirt of livid green Pats through the flowers to interrogate the dustman And the eyes follow The dustman Red-faced in the heat, jawing with the grinning boy Pointing at the panting garbage heap. As I sit, the tourists laughing in their swelter, The sorbet white of the swan's intent Ebbs away with the shrug of one Who has too late noticed the sun's dark sweat.

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mean 5.86 weighted 5.63 rank 2212 views 277 View voting details →

14 votes so far. Yours would make 15.14 votes so far

15 comments

[9] vulcan 3-Sep-02/8:42 AM Reply
It's one of your best."ebbs away with the shrug of one"memorable and impressive.
[8] morffrom 4-Sep-02/5:41 AM Reply
This is good-would you really sit near tourists ?-8/10
[n/a] Christof 4-Sep-02/5:43 AM Reply
In the crowded parks in central London you don't have much choice.....
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › Christof 24-Jul-03/7:17 PM Reply
Null? How'd you do that?
[n/a] Christof › Bill Z Bub 25-Jul-03/1:23 AM Reply
I have no idea. I must be some kind of black hole or something
[7] daniella 19-Oct-02/10:28 PM Reply
hyde parked?
[n/a] Christof › daniella 21-Oct-02/1:26 AM Reply
St James's, but close enough... you know London?
[7] daniella › Christof 21-Oct-02/8:59 PM Reply
i do. i will again.
[7] ==Doylum 21-Oct-02/9:01 AM Reply
what did you do with no1? Put it back up scallywag.
[n/a] Christof › ==Doylum 21-Oct-02/9:03 AM Reply
Sorry, I didn't like it anymore. I expunged it. I erased it. I threw it away like a spare three fingered glove. I was ruthless.
[7] ==Doylum › Christof 21-Oct-02/9:13 AM Reply
and here i was thinking you were a soft little poppet. and only now do you tell me you have no ruth. Are there no certainties anymore. I liked the other one better. I think. though i'm not sure of anything anymore
[10] Bachus 21-Oct-02/2:04 PM Reply
i would like it if you changed the second use of the word "white" to cream...yeah sorbet cream..like jizz...was just listening to your dance of the furies?!, great medoly i'd like to say you were a helluve a composer...and not a bad writer neither...heres a ten for you..why? cuz i,ve given you so many fucking zeros up until this point that it makes my head spin, and i can't remember for the life of me why? oh well..i really dug this, and it made me feel...well..hard. thanks. 10..
[7] Tintagiles 23-Oct-02/6:29 AM Reply
This is rather amusing. I hope that's not a bad comment.
[n/a] Christof › Tintagiles 23-Oct-02/6:30 AM Reply
Not at all. It's quite unusual for someone to pick up the buried humour in my stuff, I'm glad you did.
[8] horus8 24-Jul-03/1:47 PM Reply
Always the observant one aren't we.