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I'm Sorry (Free verse) by PawnedTidal I'm sorry I corrupted you
With my imperfect existence.
I'm sorry I complicated your life
With my never-ending resistance.
I'm sorry that I compared you
To those from my past.
I'm sorry I forgot to compare
That those didn't last.
I'm sorry I wasn't worth
The tears you cried for me.
I'm sorry for the pain I caused
When I said it wasn't meant to be.
I'm sorry I said good-bye,
And turned your love away.
I'm sorry it's taken me this long
To realize I wanted you to stay.
Up the ladder:
Wondering
Down the ladder:
before bethlehem
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: September 1, 2002 5:38 PM PDT; Last modified: September 1, 2002 5:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.2689414 Overall Rank: 3862 Comments:
[6]
[mojo] @ 195.92.194.16
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8-Sep-02/9:28 AM
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Reply
A little work required on stanza two, lines three and four. Not too sure that "compare" was the right choice of word, doesn't seem to make literal sense. Other wise promising.6.
With a little extra work you could have left me feelng utterly empty inside. 8. Short, concise and filled with startling strong sentences. The best poem I've read for a while. I commend you Sir.
Thanks, Tarquin. This poem was one that came easier and more quickly than most I've written. Guess there's no motivation like the one that got away, huh?
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