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My back (An explanation) (Free verse) by Stephen Robins
"The swell of a fat back, Over one's trousers, Is one of life's great, Female arousers." So read the tale in Cosmo, A cruel, acerbic jest, Believed by wanton fools, Seeking to impress. I ate stewed cheese, Far beyond the point of repletion, I now have a back, Like a hugely obese Frisian. An alabaster bulge, Over one's swimming trunks, A disgusting welt of lipid, Two preposterous chunks. If my back had nipples, It could be milked for a dozen years, Supplying the world's children: My wobbly bandoliers. I was hoping that this poem, Might prove in some way cathartic, But by the poems end, My back's no smaller than the artic.

Up the ladder: Koori
Down the ladder: Life is a Basket of Pennies

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.2
Weighted score: 5.2622466
Overall Rank: 3989
Posted: June 1, 2005 6:57 AM PDT; Last modified: June 1, 2005 6:57 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 1-Jun-05/7:21 AM | Reply
Metrics, um, jiggle a bit...
[10] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ 195.157.153.249 | 1-Jun-05/8:02 AM | Reply
This is the best poem to have appeared on Poemranker since "The Huntsman's Secret".

Yours &c.

Henry Trumpington-Pigg

P.S. As you may have noticed, rockmage has a very bad case of AIDS, caused primarily by his excessive gayness.

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