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A new leaf (Free verse) by Damien
A large open space with Shadows covering its surface Vivid images of life slowly starting to flower The smell of the future with a stench of failure Whilst hearing the voices of those who tower us A large open environment with a sense of danger Lights of life beginning there eternal venture A whiff of hope within the stench of judgment Hearing the sound of criticizing minds A vast open creation with a sense of meaning Imagery appearing from the depths of the universe Smell, can you feel the need for life Especially with that voice bringing you up all the time A bounder less energy proud to be the universe Images are not needed as the meaning we rehearse Smell, what smell, I have no nose And that voice is so much help to who ever you know

Down the ladder: An Even Better God

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3156
Posted: April 20, 2005 3:43 AM PDT; Last modified: April 20, 2005 3:43 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Damien @ 212.248.252.234 | 20-Apr-05/6:37 AM | Reply
Before the comments begin I can virtually gaurantee Goad and Zodiac will be here ready to Point my flaws out. So if you dont understand this poem its probably because it is not understandable?
Good luck Goad and Zodiac the critques of the future.
[5] Tintagiles @ 142.166.250.20 | 20-Apr-05/10:14 AM | Reply
By tower in Line 4, do you mean 'clap in chains in the tower'? And at the start of the last stanza, do you mean boundless or are we talking about some bounder who'S rather lazy? Just wondering.
[n/a] Ranger @ 131.251.0.55 > Tintagiles | 21-Apr-05/1:46 AM | Reply
Tis but a place for gentlemen, where cads and bounders abound not. I believe this place would be owned by Dark Angel.
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.70 > Ranger | 22-Apr-05/1:41 AM | Reply
Aw! But good sir, let us not forget the minstrel whom has fought for his crown, Horus8.
[n/a] Damien @ 212.248.252.234 > Tintagiles | 22-Apr-05/2:00 AM | Reply
Its a metephor for somwthing being over something else.
"his thoughts towered my thoughts"
"that building towers the landscape?"
Is that satisfactory.
[7] Dovina @ 204.250.12.246 | 20-Apr-05/3:53 PM | Reply
"their" in Line 6.
"boundless" in Line 13
"whoever" in Line 16

I hope you do not mean that you hope this is not understandable. If you do mean that, why did you write it?

The first two verses make sense to me, the last two - I don't know.
[7] sonawrote @ 64.12.116.67 | 20-Apr-05/7:20 PM | Reply
keep going Damien.....chin up chin up,no one ever got to their destination looking at their feet!
[n/a] Damien @ 212.248.252.234 > sonawrote | 21-Apr-05/1:37 AM | Reply
Thanks Ellasona, love ya attitude. Are NY clubs dangerous?
[10] Goad @ 213.61.217.3 | 21-Apr-05/6:42 AM | Reply
This poem is brilliant. Of course, you need to have read http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=123683, and seen the little interplay of comments twixt sonawrote & damien to fully appreciate it as an extended double entendre.
[n/a] Damien @ 212.248.252.234 > Goad | 21-Apr-05/6:51 AM | Reply
Cheers Goad. Too young, I dont understand "extended double entrendre".
Thanks for the time.
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