This Is The Sound of My Heart Breaking

This is the sound of my heart breaking. The uncertainty of where I am each morning as I wake, even though I've lived in the same house off and on for the last 15 years. The sound of the poignant birds on my window, the sound of little birds hatching from eggs, only to fall off their precarious nests that were perched on the holes in my roof, dying surrounded by the shells which vainly tried to protect them since conception and yet failing in the end, and the sticky mucous that came with the eggshells, Are like the ones we all had to wear as we reluctantly and screamingly came into the world, It falls through the cracks on the concrete and feeds lower life forms who devour it like ambrosia. This is the sound of my heart breaking. The sound of my CD player whirring to a stop after a night of classical music has seeped into my brain and has done damage to the parts where you have settled in suddenly one day without ceremony or warning, without telling me in advance, without asking if I'd think it was OK. This is the sound of my heart breaking. The sound of my feet hitting the floor, littered with the clothes I wore yesterday to impress the world. The sound of the bathroom door opening as I take my first piss in the morning, staring at myself in the mirror to my left, wondering if you had bed hair as bad as mine, and sighing because I might never know. This is the sound of my heart breaking. I come back to the now, shuddering at the pleasure of expelling all the toxins accumulated by my body while I had my 10 hour REM-blessed slumber from the night before. The sound of the toilet as it sucks down the water powerfully in swirls like how my vision gets when I try to imagine what you would look like in the first rays of daylight. This is the sound of my heart breaking. The sound of my cheap plastic lighter clicking as I inhale my first drag of the day, reclining on my crumpled sheets and 5 soft pillows, wishing I were inhaling the scent of your hair instead. This is the sound of my heart breaking. The sound of my feet pounding down the stairs to greet the rest of the world who have already long been awake before me, as my appointed cue to join the rest of life everyday strikes at noon. Seconds tick and time is lost never to return... and in all the seconds you were there, Because you are the sound of my heart breaking. Eternal instant. And this is just my day beginning...