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Spanish Woman (Free verse) by James Rykelangeli
My mahogany woman
limbs thin and smooth
head like a weeping willow
clothed in white cotton,
she calls me up the dark stairway
past the Virgin in an alcove
past the world when she whispers:
nosotros amantes somos ángeles de fragiliad.
To the rooftop
just shy of the sun
among the floral heads of the vines that seek it
when she holds me to her breasts
all perfume and willowhair
that falls over her eyes,
and she confesses:
prefiero la luna, prefiero la vela.
The diapason of my soul
is flowering tears in my eyes.
Her urticant hair
drapes itself about me,
a veil of night and perfume.
I cannot see the sun.
I do not need the sun
when her twin stars sing for me alone:
en mi cabello es el universo del amor.
(translations:
1. We lovers are angels of fragility.
2. I prefer the moon, I prefer the candle.
3. In my hair is the universe of love.)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5865
Posted: April 1, 2005 10:02 PM PST; Last modified: April 1, 2005 10:02 PM PST
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Comments:
167 view(s)
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Your use of diapason just seems wrong to me. At first I thought it was a typo, but after a second glance, I got curious. Was there a reason for diapason, as opposed, to anything else meaning the full range? Not that it matters, but I just thought it an ill chosen word. -9-
<3 Jason
1. "a swelling sound, as of a grand burst of harmony." (OED)
2. "a rich, full, deep outburst of sound."
It's supposed to be as if a great outpouring from the soul cannot be contained in the body and must escape through the eyes in the form of tears. I also intended diapason in the sense:
3. "the whole range of tones or notes in the scale."
I thought it called to mind that her love was literally sounding the depths of my soul. But I'll still consider your suggestion. Thanks.