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Broken and Floating (Free verse) by camperdfl I remember thinking back
To when you said that I couldn't hang out with people of color
I wished bad things on you
I dreamed of the cracking sound of your skull
The noise was loud like a bat hitting a 100 mile per hour fastball
I often hoped it was your body that they would find in the lake.
Up the ladder:
Eternal Pain
Down the ladder:
Spread my Wings
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 1.6666666
Posted: April 1, 2005 4:43 PM PST; Last modified: April 1, 2005 4:43 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.602657 Overall Rank: 12516 Comments:
[5]
thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.228
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2-Apr-05/1:34 AM
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Reply
Potential, but I doubt this took you more than 20 minutes to write. The first few lines are drab. The last 2 are great images, but don't run off the tongue like they should. Read a little more poetry, then rewrite this. -5-
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