poemranker ::Broken and Floating by camperdfl

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Free verse № 122750

Broken and Floating

by camperdfl

Member since 2004 · Posted 1 Apr 2005 · 1 comment

I remember thinking back To when you said that I couldn't hang out with people of color I wished bad things on you I dreamed of the cracking sound of your skull The noise was loud like a bat hitting a 100 mile per hour fastball I often hoped it was your body that they would find in the lake.

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mean 1.67 weighted 4.60 rank 12501 views 133 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

1 comment

[5] thepinkbunnyofdoom 2-Apr-05/1:34 AM Reply
Potential, but I doubt this took you more than 20 minutes to write. The first few lines are drab. The last 2 are great images, but don't run off the tongue like they should. Read a little more poetry, then rewrite this. -5-