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(untitled) (Free verse) by Mystifying all the times that we spent together<BR>and then the times we spent
apart<BR>we seemed to be closer than could be<BR>but then you
broke my heart<BR><BR>you took my hand and seated me in your lap&
lt;BR>i looked into oyur eyes and saw somehting was wrong<BR>i got
angry before i even knew what was up<BR>the truth unfolded itself..it
didnt take long<BR><BR>he told me he loved someone elsehe told me
it was his best friend<BR>i hated her from the start<BR>but i was
so apathetic i had no strength to defend<BR><BR>the defend that he
loved me<BR>so i sat there an stared at him in silence<BR>i felt
the anger swell in me<BR>and alls i knew was the violence<BR><
BR>the violence of my reaction suprized even me<BR>i cried and
carried on..he must have thought i ws crazy<BR>but he stayed there..
till i was all cried out<BR>he had a look on his face that said, "
that didnt faze me"<BR><BR>all of a sudden i got an unbeatable
strength<BR>and i punched him as hard as i could<BR>i didnt feel
like being there while he just stared<BR>the blood started dripping
as i knew it would<BR><BR>i walked away from him<BR>i walked
away from our memories, our fights<BR>i walked away from the hurt and
all the tears<BR>i walked away from the caresszes so light<BR><
BR>it was over and done<BR>i never wanted to see his face<BR>i
cant think of the things he must have done<BR>anytime i wasnt there
in any place<BR>
Up the ladder:
The Sea
Down the ladder:
Love at 4 A.M.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.8666666
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PSTWeighted score: 3.8676991 Overall Rank: 13459 Comments:
[1]...
anonymous @
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19-Sep-01/12:33 AM
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Reply
"and seated me" -> "and sat me"; "alls I" -> "all I"; Hmm. I know that pain. The rhythm/flow/grammar could use work, though.
Attention: webmaster. Please fix the HTML code on this one. Good story. I don't like how you glorify violence, though. That's really nasty. In English, there is no word "alls." Just say "All I said was," or "All I did was." You can edit the poem yourself on this site. By the way, I hope you forget about this loser and meet a real man. You sound like an interesting, passionate woman who any real man would be happy and grateful to be with. Take care.
Thank you! I'm so glad that these sentiments have finally been expressed in verse, and in such a witty, flowing way! I hope you continue to have profound and meaningful experiences, and move us all with your poetic recitations of them!
Fix the formatting, it makes it very hard to read.
Excellent work<BR>. I have no idea<BR> what this is about <BR> but I am inexplicably moved <BR>.
The html tags did not work.
MAYBE WANT TO REWRITE IT SO YOU DONT HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY ACROSS TO READ THE THING....
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