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Pictures of June (Lyric) by wilco
Taillights receding, like blank eyes of red with lackluster thoughts of leaving. They’re brainwaves collapsing on film for the entire world to see. Taken out of context, with many lines of white these words may seem complex. They’re synapses collapsing on paper for anyone to read. Taking photographs of June Consuming every thought If only to release These butterflies I’ve caught. Copy fades, like fleeting afternoons in the drawing of the shades. They’re underwater lullabies that no one can hear. Illustrated passion spreads like new disease but soon goes out of fashion. It’s an understated postulation that no one cares to prove. Taking photographs of June Consuming every thought If only to release These butterflies I’ve caught.

Down the ladder: Don't Say You Understand

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.75
Weighted score: 5.7395887
Overall Rank: 1830
Posted: February 2, 2005 7:26 PM PST; Last modified: February 3, 2005 4:13 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99 | 3-Feb-05/10:36 AM | Reply
I like this. I have no idea what it's about, but I like it.
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.4.250 | 3-Feb-05/12:20 PM | Reply
Having trouble following this. Postulates are not proven, maybe that's the point. I like the first line.
[n/a] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 > Dovina | 3-Feb-05/3:40 PM | Reply
That is the point. You only like the first line?

This actually goes with "Waiting for October" and another that will be my next post. A trilogy, I guess.
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.10.11 | 3-Feb-05/4:07 PM | Reply
Well, I'm still not gittin' past the first line. Punctuation and capitalization more user-friendly might help, what with line 2 not really bein' a sentence an' all. An' ah never seen a brainwave collapse on no film. Guess I'm kina simple that way.
[n/a] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 > Dovina | 3-Feb-05/4:12 PM | Reply
Yeah, i had you pegged as the kinda gal who likes it straightforward. Some of it is kind of odd...and you are right that the second line isn't a sentence. It's a song though...sometimes you gotta scrap the rules...and actually, the semicoln shouldn't be there...
[n/a] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 > Dovina | 3-Feb-05/4:13 PM | Reply
better?
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.8.227 > wilco | 3-Feb-05/9:52 PM | Reply
I heard a story once about a girl who was raped and her name was June and the time from October to June was nine months, and it kinda goes along if I stretch it a bit, kinda the way a genius does when a step above the other guys. Of course I wouldn't brag or anything like that.
[8] Crakyamuni @ 131.252.182.19 | 3-Feb-05/4:48 PM | Reply

Illustrated passion spreads like new disease

A nice ring to that, and as a whole it's working.
[9] Shuushin @ 64.223.155.125 | 5-Feb-05/5:08 AM | Reply
Hwy wilco - overall it has a nice presence, but it didn't sink in until the end. Feature or bug?

I was thinking that each of those stanzas could be on their own, even expanded into more - then I hit the chorus and it gelled. So I guess you could go either way with it.

consuming/consumes - I struggled with that a little. Did you try it the other way too?
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