Poemranker [Poem: Before I met you] [by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.] Thu Nov 21 14:31:30 PST 2024

Before I met you my life was plain, Before I met you I wasen't insane. Before I met you I didn't think it'd come true, That I could ever meet anyone just like you. Now that I met you my life is great, Now that I met you my life is complete. Now that I met you I'm happy all the time, Now that I met you my soul really shines. I thank god everyday for every minute I spend with you, I know that because of you my dreams will come true. I thank god everyday for you as my friend, I thank god everyday for this great gift he has sent. I thank god everyday for you in my life, I don't know where I'd be if I haden't met you that night. I'm so glad, I know you. I hope you are too. I love you Katelyn, and I know you know it's true, And, I guess all I wanted to say is I'd die for you.

[8] Shuushin @ 68.237.134.145 | 25-Jan-05/5:10 PM | Reply

That is pretty damn sweet, I gotta say. Enjoy the emotion, my friend - enjoy the emotion.

couple spellings for you if you like:
"wasen't" s/b "wasn't",
"haden't", "hadn't" - except, as you may know - the misspellings add to the effect of the poem.

Good luck.

[n/a] *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* @ 65.93.137.250 > Shuushin | 10-Feb-05/1:46 PM | Reply

Thanx a lot I really appreciate the comments (good or bad) although I wish people could tll me what I do worng in them so I can fix them because apparently my poems suck ass but you know how it goes peace out ....Lindsey....

[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 > *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* | 10-Feb-05/2:11 PM | Reply

I think I've been pretty specific here on what needs to be fixed.

Just keep writing and strive to have a reason for every word you put down on the paper.

[n/a] *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* @ 65.93.137.250 > Shuushin | 10-Feb-05/4:41 PM | Reply

Yeah you have Umm....WhenI put out a few poems if u thik that it wouldnt be to big of a hassle could u put how i could make them better thanks ....Lindsey....

[8] Shuushin @ 64.222.149.21 > *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* | 10-Feb-05/5:03 PM | Reply

Lindsey, the thing is these can't be made better.

There are lots of ways to express these kinds of emotions, what you have is one of them, and it is more or less appropriate for these sentiments.

All I can give you are some general rules to make you poems, at this stage in your life, better:

1) show, don't tell
2) spellchek the thing
3) don't make compromises in meaning for ryhme
3) make sure you have a reason for every word you put down
3) don't waste the reader's time; give them a reason to keep reading
4) don't expect them to read it just because you wrote it

of course there's more. For now, just write as much as you can, and read more.

and do a search for dark angel's mediocrity score thing and pay some attention to it.

[0] Doug @ 65.32.114.161 | 26-Jan-05/1:46 PM | Reply

Do your parents know your posting this crap?