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Screws (Other) by helenwales
Dark and unending, Pressing into me your ice cold, Deeper than my own want, Deeper than logic, Opened now the skies above me dance and shiver, Lath and plaster against the tide.

Down the ladder: The Dead Sea

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Weighted score: 5.4610424
Overall Rank: 2892
Posted: September 21, 2004 4:25 PM PDT; Last modified: September 21, 2004 4:25 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Sasha @ 69.138.240.116 | 22-Sep-04/3:34 PM | Reply
Helo, here's another welsh poet!

Helo, dyma bardd arall cymreig!
[8] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 22-Sep-04/4:52 PM | Reply
Another swell read.
[8] deleted user @ 81.178.202.250 | 23-Sep-04/5:35 AM | Reply
Being preceded by lines all ending in commas the line break 'the skies above/ me dance' gives me a headache.

The poem has nice sounds. Not sure what 'pressing into me your ice cold' is all about. Perhaps something to do with the morrissey song 'Phallus in a freezer'.
[n/a] helenwales @ 210.8.238.29 > deleted user | 23-Sep-04/3:43 PM | Reply
Grammer has never been my strongest point - even though I'm an editor by trade! Interesting point about the Morrissey song. I am a fan but not about that one.
[8] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ 195.157.153.253 | 24-Sep-04/2:31 AM | Reply
Absholutely shplendid. But who is pressing their ice-cold what into your what?

[n/a] daggatolar @ 212.199.251.77 | 24-Sep-04/5:24 AM | Reply
if nuts gets opened, the screw-driving is well done.
only that, after the "dance" .... whose's flesh wears the "plasters" and who pays the bill for the pains.
[9] nypoet22 @ 72.144.83.200 | 11-Oct-06/4:25 AM | Reply
one of these years i'll visit my cousins in wales. good stuff.
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