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American Haiku 2 (Haiku) by memorybabe
her hands tense grip the wheel moving on to Desmoines

Up the ladder: Lost Dreams
Down the ladder: Yesterday I cried

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.857143
Weighted score: 4.96158
Overall Rank: 8523
Posted: August 19, 2002 10:47 PM PDT; Last modified: August 19, 2002 10:47 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.224 | 19-Aug-02/11:08 PM | Reply
I am by no mean an expert of this form, but I alway thought the syllables were different, or is that the point with the American Haiku. Moreover, why disgrace the putrid cow town of Des Moines with the misspell? Explain the motives because the piece does not.
[1] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 20-Aug-02/12:09 AM | Reply
Look up haiku..please for the love of writing..this is barely even freeform..this is barely even bare....god let it fucking end...please. here i'll show you a real haiku.............ready...good....../memorybabe writes/what she hopes might be haikus/It's a shame they're not/..................see not hard at all, see, it goes 5/7/5. count or be eaten alive..better luck next time deary..
[n/a] memorybabe @ | 20-Aug-02/6:17 AM | Reply
I know. It's not meant to be set to that standard. The true haiku is set to 15 syllable's based on the japanese language. These were an attempt at haiku in the Kerouacian sense. Nothing More.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 20-Aug-02/7:36 AM | Reply
Whenever someone titles something 'American (whatever)', I always think of that fucking godawful thing, 'American Symphony' (or whatever the fuck it was) at the end of 'Mr. Holland's Opus' (a bluey for shitdicks, so I've heard). 'American' is, in my opinion, the smuggest, tritest, meaningless and most sickening adjective of all time, especially when applied to something which is supposed to be 'beautiful'.
[n/a] memorybabe @ | 21-Aug-02/5:05 AM | Reply
American just indicates the fact that it could never be a true Haiku because of the language. American also because this is about someone's trip across country.
[1] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 22-Aug-02/1:53 AM | Reply
ah.... i see, see that wasn't so hard to explain...i can dig that...very well. carry on with your kerouacian (american) haikus...<on the road> again..../neal and sal/getting high/on wine spotioti/......i think i did one too.splendid...caio..l
[4] halofriendly @ 4.159.131.212 | 21-Apr-04/6:34 PM | Reply
Did you spell "Des Moines" as one word on purpose?
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