It would be a better poem if you took out all the self-censorship and put in the real swear words you were using. It would hit harder. Never self-censor. It cuts the oomph out of your poetry.

This has intensity but you should really not use "u" instead of "you." It's grating and annoying. Nice description of depression, though.

It's cool that he did it and she said yes. Congrats to Kaolin and his fiancee - may the marriage be a happy one. Nice poem too.

I think you could do without the last 3 paragraphs (esp. the last) but altogether this is a solid poem.

I liked this poem.

There were some parts I didn't quite understand. Fourth stanza, second line; Ninth stanza, first line.

It has good flavor, though. And I like the allusion to um ... brain dead ... Mending Fences, I think.

It's nice to see one of your poems here. You're really very talented. You should post more.

I also like the first three lines but don't get the last one.

Sounds like a creative writing class I once attended. Ten haiku a session for nine weeks. Ugh!

I didn't think it was that bad. It's easy to have one's opinion about a person cloud how you read their poetry, I guess. I don't know PooP.

Tee hee! The third stanza is my favorite.

This is like an "aftershock" of Burning Night, right? I think the funny thing is that woodsmoke is such a comforting smell to most people.