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That feeling (Free verse) by trisha
You ever get that feeling The feeling in your throat You want to cry but you wont let it out You want to scream but it wont come out Your eyes are watery but u wipe them before The tears even come, you keep to your self even Though all u need is a good person to talk too, Or maybe just a pen and paper, You think your stronger the more you hold it in, But the truth is that it's just a break down your preparing for, You try to smile but you only get half, suddenly the only Thing that makes you feel good is sleep, so you go to sleep And in the morning it starts again, you wonder if it will ever Stop, then u realize you're the only one that can Get your self over what your going through, The only question left to ask is if u have to Strength and courage to do so !

Up the ladder: Like Heraldo's Vault?
Down the ladder: Untitled

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.0476813
Overall Rank: 6842
Posted: January 6, 2003 6:53 PM PST; Last modified: January 6, 2003 6:53 PM PST
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Comments:
[5] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 7-Jan-03/6:42 AM | Reply
Hi trisha welcome to p/r. I found upon reading this that i was forced to empathize with you and I wanted to see this from a less generic and more personal point of view, try and engage the emotion you want to write about and express it in a more ethereal way.
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[5] Cha no Onna @ 206.110.252.242 | 7-Jan-03/10:00 AM | Reply
This has intensity but you should really not use "u" instead of "you." It's grating and annoying. Nice description of depression, though.
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