| Re: Mi Casa es Su Casa by <~> |
31-Jul-03/11:29 AM |
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Since I now what your writing of I feel I have an unfair advantage. There needs to be more length (not in reference to the poem but to protagonist) The use of force, the speed of the kill. The power and presure of this wonderful creator. I really enjoy the ice cream shop and the piles of husks, though I'm a little confused by "the inchor inside me..." I'll have to show you my pictures.
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| Re: Mi Casa es Su Casa by <~> |
2-Aug-03/10:40 PM |
I wanted to change my comment given the state I was in last time.
I like the use of romance and then the line "I take whatever comes to me" it's a wonderful vision that everything is prey and a meal. I would almost like to see more of that through out the poem. My question is what formula, there physical strength or the ability to make a thread? I must say the last line draws me in very much and I left feeling whole.
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| Re: Anouk by daniella |
2-Aug-03/10:46 PM |
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I enjoy the connection and compassion in this poem the use of the flower and the horizon. It's always nice to see affection in a real sense.
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| Re: Grampa Morris by http://bandgeek |
2-Aug-03/10:52 PM |
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very powerful: the images the emotions. When reading poetry it is always hard to not think of the writer as protagonist. I must say I enjoyed this especially the end there is a childlike essence that is so desperate in us all.
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| Re: Ode to a Fox Cub by http://mulberryfairy |
5-Aug-03/2:19 PM |
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what I enjoyed most was the vision of humanity and nature the questions and statements that were given. I very beautiful peice
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| Re: Karma by http://mulberryfairy |
5-Aug-03/2:25 PM |
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I love "frenzied victim" I had to read this poem a few time out loud because tounge hit teeth so nicely.
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| Re: Killing Ben Afleck by Shardik |
5-Aug-03/2:33 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Aug-03/2:25 PM |
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First of all I must say that my mother's side of the family were vaudevillian's. I'm not sure how I feel about "poof" at the end of the poem, it seems to me that you could say it another way especially since I really enjoyed the flow of the rest of the lines. Side thought (and you will have to forgive this one because I'm not wearing my glasses) when I first read the line "no not shy like a fox" I read "do not shy like a fox" and for some reason I thought that was an interesting direction. take it for what it's worth. good poem
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Aug-03/2:52 PM |
I was at a reading last night and someone told a story about this guy in this bar who jumped up on a table whipped out his dick and started to slice at it with a butterknife; thought you might enjoy that.
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