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20 most recent comments by newdawnfades
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regarding some deleted poem... 27-Oct-03/7:25 PM
Your rhyme detracts from the message of the poem. There doesn't seem to be a clear introduction, it seems you started midstride, so it kind of throws the reader off a bit. As well, aside from the rhyme, it doesn't draw me in at all. It just seems you sacrificed the content entirely for the sake of rhyme.
Re: Through Poetry by newdawnfades 28-Oct-03/8:20 AM
Thanks for the comments!
regarding some deleted poem... 28-Oct-03/12:21 PM
Great ending!
Re: goodbye? by windlessbreez 28-Oct-03/12:24 PM
Nice ending, i'd work on the rest however.
regarding some deleted poem... 29-Oct-03/9:39 AM
I got a foot to lend as well...
Re: The Box by EouSou 29-Oct-03/9:41 AM
I liked the last sentence, the rest has a little too much cliche to it
regarding some deleted poem... 29-Oct-03/9:42 AM
Very good lyric, even though I wouldn't hand you any points for originality.
Re: As It Is by Miggy 29-Oct-03/9:44 AM
Doesn't quite flow as smoothly as it could. It could be better.
regarding some deleted poem... 29-Oct-03/11:31 AM
There is something about this poem that makes it work! The words fit together almost like a trail, one word leading to the next. Great job!
regarding some deleted poem... 30-Oct-03/8:18 AM
I like it. Paints a vivid image.
regarding some deleted poem... 30-Oct-03/8:19 AM
I like it, but I don't know what to make of it at the same time.
regarding some deleted poem... 30-Oct-03/8:22 AM
I hate the Beatles but i'll try not to hold that against you. Amusing.
Re: Love Poem by josiefiend 31-Oct-03/3:18 PM
Disturbing visuals, and the style's a little raw, but good.


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