poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Nepanthe and replies

Comments byNepanthe, the 20 most recent, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on With a smile and a light heart... by Nepanthe 29 Oct 2008, 6:11 PM
Your typemanship has been capsized, please flip over, and dial again. This is a recording.
replying on Coffee or Love by Nepanthe 6 Sep 2008, 12:21 PM
Yes; comfort, indulgence and addiction.
replying on Absurd Robot by Nepanthe 12 Mar 2008, 5:39 AM
You are self actualizing, each of your steps are exacting, yours is a limited pace in which you know your place. I can mean anyone can't it? Except the people that the words don't apply to. By saying I, I do not distract the listener from my presence which would make them more aware of me, I is easier to empathize with as it is all of our positions in life.
replying on Goodnight by Nepanthe 12 Mar 2008, 5:09 AM
http://www.myspace.com/monstersinnocence
It's the first song currently, I already see that retreating needs to be changed to receding. I have changed "Wave all that I will...." to "Thrash all that I will, I'm stuck in my place". If you have anymore insight as to improving the lyrics after listening please tell me.
replying on Delicate hearts grow thick skins. by Nepanthe 25 Feb 2008, 6:51 AM
Personally I think the largest problem with this is that the mentality comes across as Christian rather than Sufi, and she's a bad Christian at that. Gives a bad taste in the mouth as far as passive fatalism goes.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 21 Mar 2007, 6:30 AM
It works now.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 10:29 PM
..this may take me longer than I thought...
on Herencia Latina by Ranger 13 Mar 2007, 9:18 PM
This is beautiful and it flows well, matching the theme to the structure as you did keeps it from sounding repetitive.
Without knowing it at first I could feel a guitar in my hands... the strings along my fingertips and a current of song.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 2:56 PM
Yes, I'll work on it later tonight, and repost.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 2:23 PM
Is that better?
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 2:16 PM
Sounds like too many syllables.
take out the of and the last two lines match up, 8 and 8.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 2:14 PM
Hm, I'm still not sure of the 'of'.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 1:57 PM
Do you think this revision is alright, or should I change it back?
and say 'mitts of her own'.
replying on Her Mitts by Nepanthe 13 Mar 2007, 1:35 PM
Heh, yeah I see it.
I felt the second paragraph was weak.
I should work on it, a punch to the colon's far too violent for a pair of soft fluffy mitts.
Thanks : )