| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Goodnight (Lyric) by Nepanthe You have me moving like
long grass in storms.
Goodnight,
I wave goodnight.
my friend.
Wave all I will,
I'm stuck in this place.
Of all things arms can do
with grace-
Wave at retreating forms,
fade from sight.
Goodnight.
Up the ladder:
The Project
Down the ladder:
tree in a flood
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Posted: March 8, 2008 12:04 AM PST; Last modified: March 8, 2008 12:04 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.071139 Overall Rank: 6621 Comments:
195 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
It's the first song currently, I already see that retreating needs to be changed to receding. I have changed "Wave all that I will...." to "Thrash all that I will, I'm stuck in my place". If you have anymore insight as to improving the lyrics after listening please tell me.