Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/3:22 PM |
Too childish for a grown woman to think when a gnarly hand captures her finger? No comment.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/3:12 PM |
I've changed the title to "Captured" just to stave off some of this erotica.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/3:09 PM |
Actually, it could be that, except she's got polished nails - thirteen or older maybe.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/2:59 PM |
Well ok, if it gives you a laugh and mild itch for a smelly stableboy, then fine by me. Actually, you folks are all taking this way more erotically than I am. Admittedly, thereâs suggestion in having your finger clasped in huge, work-rough hand, but wow, does it have to imply all this?
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/10:33 AM |
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/10:32 AM |
No, if properly used, they sometimes serve their intended purpose. You guys are taking this poem along unpaved paths and unintended passages.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/10:31 AM |
Baby, this is the real thing!
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
12-Feb-07/10:31 AM |
Itâs the big paw that entices strong hand ideas for the narrator. If you like little paws with shiny nails, then go for it from that angle. No need for ickiness either way.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
11-Feb-07/5:41 AM |
Soft-handed men will do, I suppose, and sex toys serve other purposes. Perhaps the title is misleading; my finger is not so much swallowed as captured.
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Re: a comment on Captured by Dovina |
11-Feb-07/5:38 AM |
Good call on the extraneous "a."
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
9-Feb-07/11:36 AM |
Ranger, you are hopelessly infested with virtue. Stop looking for cures. S.R. has no idea how to handle that.
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Re: Out alone in the winter rain by Prince of Void |
8-Feb-07/7:26 PM |
Just a minor suggested revision:
Out alone in the winter rain
Happiness is high there, sky is up
I remember those tears of joy had hidden
Behind drops of rain
Iâm still singing in the rain
And all memories flow upward
Inside consuming bliss.
Cheers
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Re: A Cautionary Tale by Tman |
8-Feb-07/7:23 PM |
What is the "either of sleep"?
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
8-Feb-07/7:13 PM |
Oh, they're lovely. Thank you, ALChemy. :)
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
8-Feb-07/7:12 PM |
Maybe not better, but more Rangeresque.
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
8-Feb-07/7:09 PM |
It's because you got the maxim slightly twisted. Try: "It's better to give than to receive." I bet she liked the flowers.
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
8-Feb-07/10:11 AM |
Is that a double-chin older woman or a fenstimen deustus?
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Re: a comment on Flowers by Dovina |
8-Feb-07/10:06 AM |
Alright you two, just play around in my parlor, what the h.
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Re: Tea,One Night Stands and Smores by Bethy |
6-Feb-07/11:36 AM |
A good moving story. Tense conflict - might be best to make it all present tense, but you could just eliminate the few out-of-past-tense verbs. Also, quote marks are inconsistent - I'd use them on all quotes. And spacing - yes, a space after every comma. I like it though.
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Re: City Beat by Quarton |
6-Feb-07/11:30 AM |
"so" say your prayers.
"sycophant"?
A good beat and good rhymes, doesn't seem forced.
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