on You are my very Heart by donmiguel1960
15 Jul 2004, 10:20 PM
i like that the last line is out of meter and out of rhyme, however the ametered fourth line feels somewhat awkward; thematically, no comment, a classic ode
on Ode to the bun (Day 11) by jdc
15 Jul 2004, 10:22 PM
*sob* beautiful *sniff* just beautiful.
on some deleted poem
6 Jun 2004, 5:02 PM
This is either cutting-edge or pointless. undecided. The format reminds me of javascript.
on some deleted poem
6 Jun 2004, 5:08 PM
It might be further generlised by forgoeing the naming of countries...
on wine and water by killingjuliet
6 Jun 2004, 5:10 PM
bittersweet; the language is simple but warming
on some deleted poem
6 Jun 2004, 5:27 PM
The nonaplphabetical characters do nothing for me. If the goal was bewilderment: consider a mission acomplished. If your goal was to portray some juxtoposition of natural characters, I need more; it just feels awkward.
Apathy. But then what? There is something missing that I cannot, as a reader, put between the brackets. Perhaps help me frame by using more descriptive verbs.
Apathy. But then what? There is something missing that I cannot, as a reader, put between the brackets. Perhaps help me frame by using more descriptive verbs.
on some deleted poem
6 Jun 2004, 1:46 AM
Brilliant! Truly cutting-edge SOC. Firstly, a sensual vision, but then, an ironic forray into post-modern awareness; I like it.