| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
tobago, my tara (Free verse) by mitchski Oh Beautiful Isle,
resilient and luminescent against the world
with a glowing sun raining
silently,
on lucid waters,
saving light for mornings to follow.
Oh Gallant Man,
tanning on the shores of her patience
looming forward
lurching back
pulling his inhibitions out to sea with her,
slowly he rises
sheltering her as she slumbers.
Oh Tearful Reunion,
sifting the potent earth between my fingers
my toes once again falling into step
meeting her once again,
knowing only now a kindred,
knowing only now a home,
far from the one I've known
on this beautiful
where I lay my soul
so long ago.
Up the ladder:
Searching
Down the ladder:
How Strange (version two)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4375
Posted: April 15, 2002 12:40 AM PDT; Last modified: April 15, 2002 12:40 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.5045514 Overall Rank: 12794 Comments:
this ones seems happier than the rest like the joy after the pain
116 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
painful and dying on the monitor
This is actually better than the first one I read. You seem to know that poetry has something to do with nouns and verbs, and that's something learned.
The language is a little too "poetic" for me. You know how "descriptive" the writing is on the sides of cereal boxes? Any time you read the side of a cereal box, I guarantee you can tell the writing is phony. Something just doesn't feel right, because the adjectives are placed there with a dishonest intent.