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Summer Festival (Free verse) by wilco The dollars gathered from coast to coast,
herding people to the middles of nowhere.
The stages set upon the living fields.
Rising high and gently kissing the horizon.
The Blazing sun beating down on flesh,
but cold drinks are plentiful and flowing.
Vampire insects have their fill,
and the grass is trampled below the throng.
The peace pipes are passed carelessly.
Lovingly caressing the lungs of the faithful.
Grazing in the pastures of America,
providing a joyous occasion the memory of all.
The crowd, converging to fill the gap,
to see their heroes, flesh and blood.
Testing the limits of the human voice,
and enjoying their aural orgasms.
Up the ladder:
rainday
Down the ladder:
Lenola prays with a stiletto
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Posted: April 20, 2004 6:19 PM PDT; Last modified: April 21, 2004 7:45 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.6723537 Overall Rank: 2021 Comments:
I think the couplets keep the thing from flowing; it reads list-like.
It's worth fixing.
"providing a joyous occasion the memory of all." Somehting grammetically displeasing about this line.
ooh....that was supposed to be "for the memory of all." Thanks
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Rising high and filling the horizon. (How do you mean?)
a drink too costly to touch ???
flail about and wail -> flail and wail
1) Rising high and filling the horizon - Those stages are huge.
2) a drink too costly... - Liquid goods (i.e. - water and beer) are very expensive at these large outdoor festivals.
3) flail and wail.....that is better...
2) It they were too costly, nobody would buy.
1) If you're right in front of it in the front row, it seems that big.
2) True, but they ARE expensive.