poemranker ::Left the key in dream den's door by capachijim

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Free verse № 97862

Left the key in dream den's door

Member since 2003 · Posted 20 Apr 2004 · 5 comments

I left the key in dream den’s door, For me to see and use no more, For what is told and what is heard, Could no longer be deterred. To lock the key to dream den’s door, Would be to stop the sheltered soul to soar, And what I can only touch upon, Would forever and totally be gone. Though I reach and reach to try again, To grasp my hands around the key, I feel my inspiration leave me, Let go of my ecstasy

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mean 7.09 weighted 7.05 rank 24 views 323 View voting details →

22 votes so far. Yours would make 23.22 votes so far

A favorite of InWonderLand.

5 comments

[8] Shuushin 21-Apr-04/7:17 AM Reply
hmmm... "deterred" - not "deferred"? okay, fine.

"leaving me" might flow better.

Period at the end - did you try any other last lines?

I find myself wanting to know more about what the dream den is. Which isn't necessarily bad.
[7] MacFrantic 21-Apr-04/11:42 AM Reply
I would have liked to see the first line of the third stanza follow you other lines, and "totally" is a pretty weak word . I DO like the originality of "dream den's door", maybe it's the alliteration.
[10] Fire_is_cool 22-Apr-04/4:42 PM Reply
I really like your poem. Oooo Ecstasy!
[0] Edna Sweetlove 17-Oct-06/6:54 AM Reply
Not impressed; clumsy wording and a limp punchline. Could have been worse. Could have been illiterate!
[8] InWonderLand 3-Nov-06/8:11 PM Reply
i LIKE THIS SHIT ALOT!