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Left the key in dream den's door (Free verse) by capachijim
I left the key in dream den’s door, For me to see and use no more, For what is told and what is heard, Could no longer be deterred. To lock the key to dream den’s door, Would be to stop the sheltered soul to soar, And what I can only touch upon, Would forever and totally be gone. Though I reach and reach to try again, To grasp my hands around the key, I feel my inspiration leave me, Let go of my ecstasy

Up the ladder: Wanted You To Know

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10  .. 27
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.. 21
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.. 01
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.090909
Weighted score: 7.0533013
Overall Rank: 27
Posted: April 20, 2004 4:52 PM PDT; Last modified: April 20, 2004 4:52 PM PDT
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InWonderLand

Comments:
[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 | 21-Apr-04/7:17 AM | Reply
hmmm... "deterred" - not "deferred"? okay, fine.

"leaving me" might flow better.

Period at the end - did you try any other last lines?

I find myself wanting to know more about what the dream den is. Which isn't necessarily bad.
[7] MacFrantic @ 204.98.23.57 | 21-Apr-04/11:42 AM | Reply
I would have liked to see the first line of the third stanza follow you other lines, and "totally" is a pretty weak word . I DO like the originality of "dream den's door", maybe it's the alliteration.
[10] Fire_is_cool @ 65.100.213.166 | 22-Apr-04/4:42 PM | Reply
I really like your poem. Oooo Ecstasy!
[0] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.220.187 | 17-Oct-06/6:54 AM | Reply
Not impressed; clumsy wording and a limp punchline. Could have been worse. Could have been illiterate!
[8] InWonderLand @ 66.214.227.170 | 3-Nov-06/8:11 PM | Reply
i LIKE THIS SHIT ALOT!
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