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Left the key in dream den's door (Free verse) by capachijim I left the key in dream denâs door,
For me to see and use no more,
For what is told and what is heard,
Could no longer be deterred.
To lock the key to dream denâs door,
Would be to stop the sheltered soul to soar,
And what I can only touch upon,
Would forever and totally be gone.
Though I reach and reach to try again,
To grasp my hands around the key,
I feel my inspiration leave me,
Let go of my ecstasy
Up the ladder:
Wanted You To Know
Down the ladder:
A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.090909
Posted: April 20, 2004 4:52 PM PDT; Last modified: April 20, 2004 4:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 7.0533013 Overall Rank: 27 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
I would have liked to see the first line of the third stanza follow you other lines, and "totally" is a pretty weak word . I DO like the originality of "dream den's door", maybe it's the alliteration.
I really like your poem. Oooo Ecstasy!
Not impressed; clumsy wording and a limp punchline. Could have been worse. Could have been illiterate!
i LIKE THIS SHIT ALOT!
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"leaving me" might flow better.
Period at the end - did you try any other last lines?
I find myself wanting to know more about what the dream den is. Which isn't necessarily bad.